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October 06, 2005
The Power of Possessions
Paula was my best friend in junior high and high school. We both had difficult lives but hers was especially hard. I always admired how cheerful, good-natured and generous she was despite that. And how funny. I'll never forget how easily she could make me laugh. Both of us loved books but neither of us had any money. Paula planned to have a huge library one day and dazzled me one night with a box of books under her bed. She actually owned 13 or 14 books. I was jealous.
We both loved the goopy cinnamon rolls sold in the cafeteria but they cost a fortune, 50 cents. So we took turns buying one roll and sharing it, but not straight down the middle. The sticky center was the very best part, so one day Paula got the center and one day I did. The cinnamon-roll agreement was probably my most successful partnership ever.
The two of us took different paths after high school. I stayed in California and Paula moved to Colorado. I have seen her rarely since then but I think of my friend often. I know she's a great mom, an accomplished martial arts practioner and an all-around talented woman. And she's still generous. When I saw her last, about seven years ago, she gave me a huge Colorado t-shirt that I still wear to bed.
I mention this because I used that t-shirt to help me survive the first conference I created, in 2000. The night before the event I was a mess and not at all sure I could pull it off. I'd never been much of a public speaker and yet I planned to moderate many of the panels before a sold-out crowd of 200 people. So I went off to the hotel I was staying at for the night before armed with a bracelet from my mom, earrings from my grandmother and that t-shirt from Paula. My mother and grandmother were both dead, and Paula and I had stopped being close friends years before. But that didn't matter. I needed their support to get through the most challenging professional day I had ever had. Sleeping in Paula's t-shirt and, the next day, wearing the jewelry made me feel surrounded by their love. (It was a kick-ass conference, by the way.)
I've been a lousy friend to Paula as an adult, entirely missing in action. But she has been a good friend to me. I will never forget our teenage adventures, sorrows and joys. Thanks for the tee, kiddo. (And for the really nice bell you gave to Disa, it's hanging in my kitchen.) I'm sorry I've been a deadbeat. Happy birthday! Hope you and the kids are well and happy.
Posted by Deborah Branscum at October 6, 2005 11:46 PM